Pending NBA league approval, the Sacramento Kings will be sold to Chris Hansen, noted Sonics guy and prep cook.
Recently, a collection of folks in Sacramento have formed a would-be ownership group to hope to compete with Hansen.
The folks from Sacramento have been largely miserable failures, except recently. This past week they have jettisoned a billionaire investor to great comedic effect and replaced him with some other person I'm not bothering to remember. They are not even trying to be funny, and yet, it is making me laugh.
Here, John Hodgman, is where you come in to realize a dream of mine, and a casual interest of yours. You could own a Jay-Z size piece of the Seattle SuperSonics.
You could bridge the gap between subterranean people (Sonics fans), and your wondering if you should buy in to the NBA.
Your participation in Chris Hansen's ownership group would provide three things:
- A reason for Chris Hansen to issue a press release (you are a Whalers fan, so, by Sacramento standards you would qualify as a "whale").
- A reason for you to come out to Seattle (you could sell more books while you visit).
- A direct counter offensive to the folks in Sacramento with somebody that intends to be and actually is funny.
So, here is all you and Chris Hansen have to do:
- Meet and agree that you are an obvious choice to be part of the SuperSonics ownership group (the easy part).
- Convince the NBA that your ability to attract millions of adoring fans is not a conflict of interest in the NBA's desperate attempts for attention (even easier part).
- Finally, you and Chris Hansen agree that I am right (the easiest part, because that's something we all obviously want).
I know I can make this happen for you, Chris Hansen, and all SuperSonics fans (you've read this far).
Think of this as your gateway to also owning the NHL franchise in Seattle. You could even name them the Seattle Killer Whales.
The responses to John Hodgman's tweet are here, hilarious, and worth reading (SuperSonics fans can read, John).