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Sonics Bruising: Week Thirteen Roundup

It's brass knuckles time again. We give you Week 13 of the SBL.

Edited by Tiffany Villigan

Christian Petersen

In honor of the 12th Man, I chose not to do a Week 12 Roundup last week. Either that or my internet wasn't working very well. Either that or I was just too lazy. I will let each of you make your own judgements, but just know that there's no way I'm doing a makeup roundup this week.

But I will do a section on the Bad Boy Bonuses from that week as we had some decent ones for a change. I should also mention that Week 12 saw the first occurrence ever of a tied game in our league. Paul Rogers and Team Heaney each scored 1409.5 points against the other.

That brings us to Week 13, which was an unlucky week for the league because there were no fines or suspensions. I'm seriously getting tired of that. Come on people. Man up and start punching some people in the face. If it can happen in Week 12, it can happen every week.

It should also be noted that The Frozen Envelope is still undefeated. I'm kind of getting tired of that, too. Surely, someone in this league is capable of knocking him on his can. He nearly cracked the 2,000-point barrier the previous week. So maybe not.

HEAD-TO-HEAD

Team Meirose 1831, Da Double Techs 1677.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Carmelo Anthony (Meirose) 151 SP, 33 rebs 223
Tobias Harris (Meirose) 45 rebs, 14 fouls, 71 SP 220.5
Anderson Varejao (Techs) 46 rebs, 11 fouls 215.5
Phil's Radio  Team 1816, Sethley The Nephew 1042.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Thaddeus Young (Phil) 66 SP, 16 steals, 15 fouls 220.5
Kevin Love (Phil) 40 rebs, 60 SP 160
Andrew Bogut (Sethley) 30 rebs, 11 blocks, 13 fouls 221
Team Catdawg 1798.5, Team Heaney 1531.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Joakim Noah (Cat) 62 rebs, 15 fouls, 49 SP 275.5
Dwight Howard (Cat) 49 rebs, 71 SP 278
LaMarcus Aldridge (Heaney) 66 rebs, 131 SP 330.5
The Frozen Envelope 1629.5, Bothell Beavers 1585.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Serge Ibaka (Froz) 32 rebs, 15 blocks, 70 SP 242.5
Paul Millsap (Froz) 29 rebs, 10 steals, 85 SP 235
Paul George (Both) 27 rebs, 103 SP 211.5
Paul Rogers 1591.5, Seattle Glove and Hate 1552
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
DeAndre Jordan (Roge) 64 rebs, 15 fouls, 36 SP 298
Roy Hibbert (Roge) 31 rebs, 10 blocks, 20 fouls 257.5
Blake Griffin (Glove) 30 rebs, 13 fouls, 108 SP 211.5
Cobra Kai 1558.5, Baltimore Bullets 1284
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Robin Lopez (Kai) 41 rebs. 7 blocks, 60 SP 205
Josh Smith (Kai) 25 rebs, 10 steals, 70 SP 157.5
John Wall (Balt) 25 rebs, 12 fouls, 73 SP 191.5
Manmade Seacows 1369.5, Seattle Mike Baker 739.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Kyle Lowry (Cows) 22 rebs, 15 fouls, 53 SP 179
Jonas Valanciunas (Cows) 34 rebs, 10 fouls, 37 SP 163.5
LeBron James (Baker) 32 rebs, 104 SP 189.5
Andre + Jennette 1161.5, Primetime Sheed's 674.5
Player Highlights Fantasy Points
Kenneth Faried (Andre) 26 rebs, 10 fouls, 36 SP 160.5
Patrick Beverly (Andre) 16 rebs, 15 fouls, 35 SP 160
Gerald Henderson (Sheed) 18 rebs, 48 SP 148


BAD BOY BONUSES

Week 12

Jameer Nelson Fined

Nelson was fined $15K for an obscene gesture. Team Meirose was seen giving multiple obscene gestures while gloating over their ensuing 15-point bonus. The NBA states the following:

NEW YORK, Jan. 16, 2014 – Orlando Magic guard Jameer Nelson has been fined $15,000 for making an obscene gesture during the Magic’s 128-125 loss in triple overtime to the Chicago Bulls on Wednesday, Jan. 15, at Amway Center, it was announced today by Rod Thorn, President, Basketball Operations.

Nelson’s actions occurred with 0:11 remaining in the 4th quarter of the game.

Nick Young suspended; Marcus Morris fined

Now this is what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

A good fight should never go unrewarded, and Sethley reaped the most gain from this little fracas on the strength of the punch that Young threw at Goran Dragic. It was worth 75 points. Primetime Sheed's got a 15-point bump when Morris escalated the situation. We love escalators around here.

The only bummer from this fight was that Alex Len also got fined, but is not on an SBL roster. What a waste. Behold the NBA's statement:

NEW YORK, Jan. 16, 2014 - Los Angeles Lakers guard Nick Young has been suspended one game without pay for throwing a punch at Phoenix Suns guard Goran Dragic with 7:33 remaining in the second quarter of the Lakers' 121-114 loss to the Suns on Wednesday, Jan. 15, at US Airways Center, it was announced today by Rod Thorn, President, Basketball Operations.

Suns center Alex Len, who was ejected for his Flagrant Foul 2 against Young, has been fined $15,000. Suns forward Marcus Morris has been fined $25,000 for escalating the altercation.

STANDINGS

Xavier McDaniel Conference

Paul Silas Conference

Team Catdawg

11-2

The Frozen Envelope

(slasher_14)

13-0

Paul Rogers

9-3-1

Team Meirose

10-3

Da Double Techs

(smb282)

9-4

Phil's Radio Team

(Phil Naessens)

10-3

Andre + Jennette

(ksmith1984)

5-8

Cobra Kai

(Kevin Nesgoda)

8-5

Bothell Beavers

(unknown)

4-9

Seattle Glove and Hate

(Eric E)

7-6

Sethley The Nephew

3-10

Team Heaney

(ColmCanada)

6-6-1

Baltimore Bullets

(Barely Able)

2-11

Manmade Seacows

5-8

Seattle Mike Baker

1-12

Primetime Sheed's

(Primetime Mitch)

0-13

SMACKDOWN(Z) OF THE WEEK

Nick Young Punch- Jan 15

WEEKLY RODMANISM

"If you have a problem with my answer that's your problem, not my problem." ~ Dennis Rodman