Sonics Bruising: Week Seventeen Roundup

I've been called on the carpet. Check out the following quote from Sonics Rising editor, Waseca pastor, and baseball purist Chris Meirose.

"Three things. We need to get PAUL to do some work around here and get SBL done, the designated hitter position sucks, and don't even get me started on instant replay. It's not Biblical!"

Chris said that so politely. You should see how your writers and editors communicate behind the scenes on a regular basis. You would look at Kevin Nesgoda in a completely different light and, possibly, behind bars.

Meirose does have two valid points here. First, instant replay is, in fact, not found in the Bible, though time did stand still once (Joshua 10:1-15). Second, it is past time for this week's roundup of the Sonics Bruising League, so here goes.

I'll start with the huge news of the week. The juggernauts of the league, the Frozen Envelope (16-1), have FINALLY been handed their first loss of the season. It is only fitting that the loss came at the hands of Team Catdawg (15-2), the team's closes competitor all season long. Catdawg thawed out the Frozen ones 1853.5-1689.

Both teams have locked up their respective conference championships.

There are now two weeks left in the regular season, so it's time to start talking about the playoffs. In our league, there will be four teams who make it in - the two conference winners and two wildcards. There will be two one-week rounds.

If the tournament started today, two teams from the Paul Silas Conference would win the wildcards. Team Meirose (4th seed at 12-5) would face the Frozen Envelope (1st seed), while Phil's Radio Team (3rd seed at 13-4) would square off against Team Catdawg (2nd seed).

While the conference titles are on ice, the two wildcard spots are by no means secure. Paul Rogers and Cobra Kai are breathing down the necks of Phil and Meirose with 11-6 records. These last two weeks should prove to be competitive and bloody. Let's hope so.

HEAD-TO-HEAD

BAD BOY BONUSES

DeMarcus Cousins Suspended and Fined

Cousins punched a dude in the stomach. That's how we do things in the SBL. As a result, Seattle Glove and Hate benefits with 15 points from the resulting fine and another 75 from the suspension. The commissioner was starting to wonder if our players forgot how to properly express their anger.

NEW YORK, Feb. 27, 2014 - Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins has been suspended one game without pay and fined $20,000 for his actions in separate incidents, it was announced today by Rod Thorn, President, Basketball Operations.

Cousins has been suspended for punching Houston Rockets guard Patrick Beverley in the stomach with 9:44 remaining in the first quarter of the Kings' 129-103 loss to the Houston Rockets on Feb. 25, at Sleep Train Arena.

In addition, Cousins has been fined for verbally abusing a game official and failing to leave the court in a timely manner following his ejection with 8:21 remaining in the third quarter of the same game.

Cousins will serve his suspension on Friday, Feb. 28, when the Kings visit the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center.

STANDINGS

SMACKDOWN(Z) OF THE WEEK

DeMarcus Cousins vs Patrick Beverley

WEEKLY RODMANISM

"I don't trust what this life has given me. ~ Dennis Rodman"